Stupid Punk Tape Package

by Useless Pieces of Shit

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Package includes the Stupid Punk Comic (8*' x 10"), a sheet of U.P.S. band stickers (you just cut them out), and the Stupid Punk Tape.
    BONUS MUSIC (side 2) - U.P.S. live at the Elk's Lodge

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stupid Punk Tape Package via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
There will never be a world of peace until all human life has ceased It’ll only take a couple of minutes to kill the world and everything in it Get on with it end it all Watch each other die in a fireball Let it boil curdle and rot Put an end to our meaningless slop Everyone’s waiting for the savior to come but when he comes he’ll be a hydrogen bomb There will be no angels or trumpets played we’ll all be in hell on judgement day Get on with it end the world Fry it up into human curd We’re better off dead mindless masses of shit End it now get on with it
2.
NANNY NANNY Liar, liar pants on fire hanging from the telephone wire. Nanny, nanny, nanny! Made you look you dirty crook you stole your mother’s pocketbook. Nanny, nanny, nanny! TWEEKIN’ Too fast, too slow, too blown, tweekin’. Fucked up, losing it. Too tired, too hyped, too much, tweekin’. Fucking up, blowing it! SHIT PISS CUM Shit, piss, and cum is what you’ve done. Shit, piss, and cum all your life. Shit, piss, and cum is so much fun. Shit, piss, and cum in your pants. Shit, piss, and cum let it run. Shit, piss, and cum down your leg. Shit, piss, and cum it’s so much fun. Shit, piss, and cum is what you’ve done. Shit, piss, and cum all at once. You’re DEAD! UGLY AS ME I like girls with tree trunk thighs and little hairy chests. I like girls three times my size, that wear thick woolen vests. Big chested girls just ain’t my kind, I’ve got a kink for the crippled, dumb, and blind. Ugly girls are my cup of tea, but there ain’t no girl as ugly as me! TO NOTHING A buck here, a beer there, people suck it up. A ride here, a joint there, it all adds up …… A line here, a pill there, get all fucked up. A fuck here, some head there, it all adds up …… A body here, a city there, People, blowing up. A missile here, a laser there, it all adds up …… A thought here, an idea there, but never growing up. A memory here, a dream there, it all ads up …… to nothing. SILVER PATTER Seems like forever I’ve been alive. I’m sick of being tired. Don’t wanna have to work wanna live for free. Give it to me! I want life on a silver platter. I can’t be bothered. Don’t wanna have to move. I’ll just eat what you bring to me. Seems like forever I’ve been dying. I’m tired of being sick. I don’t want to live I wanna be set free. Take it from me! I had life on a silver platter. That didn’t matter. Don’t wanna have to move. My shit is all you’ll take from me. WHO NEEDS Who needs love to get drunk and fuck? I’ve had enough. Who needs love when you’ve got drugs? You don’t. Who needs love to get it up? I’ve had enough. Who needs love when you can fuck your friends
3.
UNDER THE GUN Push the ink deep into your skin till blood drips down and sweat mingles in. Snakes and dragons wrap around your chest. Shadows and demons live in your flesh. Feel the pain sit under the gun till your sweat and blood starts run. Push the ink deep into your skin submit to the needle again & again & again! SERIOUS FAG ARMY Wanna be rebellious so turn on the radio. D.J.’s spin the latest craze and call it rock and roll. So you rush off to the mall to buy the latest hit. Buy the clothes to match the trend cuz your so full of shit. Serious fag army - listening everyday. Serious fag fan club - send your check today. Serious fag army - ignorant and proud. Serious fag army - what a bunch of clowns. For you its prom night every day, so damn lame it’s fucking insane. Wanna see you get smashed in the face cuz you’re a disgrace.
4.
BAG o’ KITTENS My cat’s about to pop. In a few more days I’ll have a… Bag O’kittens Bag O’kittens. She’s gonna have them in my bed. I wanna shoot them in the head don’t want no… Bag O’kittens Bag O’kittens I guess I’ll feed them to my dog. As I should have all along. JUNKIE PUNKS Think your rad cuz you shoot junk. You think it’s cool, we think it’s fucked! I give you my friendship and what do I get, sold off for another fix. If you’ve come to score get out here, find somewhere else to squelch your fears. We ain’t trying to be your mom, but you need help before you’re too far gone. Rip your friends off gotta scam, chop off any helping hand. Steal our trust when you’ve got withdrawals, flush your junk if you’ve got real balls. You still think Sid Vicious is cool, can’t you see he’s a dead junkie fool. Darby, Janus, the list goes on, you’ve starting your grave with the hole in your arm. JUNKIE PUNKS, JUNKIE PUNKS, JUNKIE PUNKS. O.D.!!!!!!!!! Hope you die. Hope you die. Hope you die!
5.
NANNY NANNY Liar, liar pants on fire hanging from the telephone wire. Nanny, nanny, nanny! Made you look you dirty crook you stole your mother’s pocketbook. Nanny, nanny, nanny! TWEEKIN’ Too fast, too slow, too blown, tweekin’. Fucked up, losing it. Too tired, too hyped, too much, tweekin’. Fucking up, blowing it! TOO MUCH CAFFEINE Bittersweet nightmares stir my gut. Pour the black magic into my cup. Slip into the world of adrenalin’s dream. Worship the alter of the Colombian bean. HOLD THE CREAM! Too much caffeine, not enough coffee. Bleeding stomach proves I’m a Java Junkie. Too much caffeine, not enough coffee. heart palpitations and getting dizzy. PEACE THROUGH USELESSNESS Get up at five o’clock go to work. Fell like shit, too little sleep. Gotta get to work on time or I’ll get fired. Why am I always so fucking tired? Working life’s going nowhere. I’m digging a deeper hole! The further I go the less I get. The problem is no one ever gains. Why should I be useful, I don’t need your job. Why should I be useful, you’ll just use me up. Why should I be useful, I’m just a useless slob. Why should I be useful, when I can be your pain! Got a raise today, I’m moving up. Landlord raised the rent again, oh fuck! The bank will loan me lots of money, but I can’t make the payments on time. Boss has to lay me off, business’s slow. 30 day eviction notice, not again! Back to sleeping on my friend’s floor. I’m better off when I have nothing! Why should I be useful, your world’s a great big game. Why should I be useful, I don’t wanna be a puppet. Why should I be useful, I want a life of my own. Why should I be useful, then you won’t hate me! Why should I? Why should I? Why should I! EVERYONE'S FRIEND Forget about friendship, be everyone’s friend. Suffocate your feelings, play games and pretend. Act out the role you must want to play. Ignore yourself, you’ll go away. Friend for life means give me head. Friend for life means get me blown. Friend for life means loan me money. Friend for life don’t mean a thing! In your new world you’ll be happy and free. You can be God living out your dream. Life of the party, envy of the herd. Be everyone’s friend, they’ll follow your word. Friend for life means give me head. Friend for life means get me blown. Friend for life means loan me money. Friend for life don’t mean a thing! PUPPYCORE You ain’t got no leather jacket. You ain’t got no red mohawk. You ain’t got no engineer boots. You ain’t got no crass albums. Regan sucks, give me a beer! You’ll never be as punk as me. Puppycore, woof, woof! Puppycore, you’ll never be as punk as me, till you’re just like me! You ain’t got no Doc Martens. You ain’t got no red braces. You ain’t got no skinhead. You ain’t got no ska albums. Regan sucks, give me a beer! You’ll never be as punk as me. Puppycore, woof, woof! Puppycore, you’ll never be as punk as me, till you’re just like me!
6.
IT iS WRITTEN As a dog returneth to it’s vomit a fool returneth to his folly! We will reach our goal when we have the courage to laugh as we destroy! If the Chinese march four abreast into the ocean the line would never end! More than 70% of all auto owners spend more than $300 a year on maintenance and repair! LITTLE THING It’s a tool for every need. It’s nice to have around. I like to have it near. It’s always getting lost. It’s my favorite little thing but where can I find it. WAKE UP Wake up, take a piss, drink some coffee, smoke a cigarette, get blown, Take a shit, drink more coffee, smoke a cigarette, get blown! Watch T.V., eat something, smoke a cigarette, get blown, Get drunk, fuck someone, smoke a cigarette, get blown! THREE HEADED PUPPY My dog’s in heat if it gets fucked I’ll get it blown, deform its pups. Give her acid, feed her pot, put some downers in her slop. My dog’s knocked up and fucked up too, instead of water I give her brew. Her stud was into S&M, tied her on the clothesline for weeks on end. A few months later the day had come. I couldn’t believe it a three headed pup, ate through her skin and ate the other pups. The A.L.F.’s gonna hate my guts. Three headed pup in my backyard, fights with itself to lick its balls. Growls at the neighbors, barks at the cops, breaks into my house and eats my pot! Three headed pup with three minds of its own, ate through the fence and stated to roam. Chased the dog catcher down the street, tries to kill everything it meets. My dog was knocked up I fixed her junk, gave her ludes deformed her pups. Now I’m gonna make big bucks, cuz my dog gave birth to a three headed pup. FUCK SHIT UP Screwed up in the head, since the day I was born. Heads’s on backwards, can’t tell right from wrong. Every fuckin’ chance I get I keep on blowing it. FUCK SHIT UP!!! No Escape!!! Brain just lazy, or was I brought up wrong. I keep on trying, but I can’t hold on. You know someday I’ll end up in a ditch. FUCK SHIT UP!!!
7.
STUPID PUNK MEDLEY DEEP INSIDE Deep down inside I hate myself, I don’t love you or anybody else. Deep down inside it’s hard to face the fact I can’t even love myself. Deep down inside I realize my life has been one big disguise. To keep on hiding deep inside the fact I could never love myself. Deep down inside I start to die, until I do I’ll live my lie. It’s hard to face the fact that deep inside I might never love myself. O.K. TO DREAM Do what you want, who sets the rules? Who plays god? Who play the fool? Who’s got you running away from yourself? Who’ll give you pity? Who’ll give you help? Who makes the choices that determine your fate? Who’ll give us love? Who’ll give us hate? Do what you want it’s O.K. to dream, O.K. to dream, only a dream… WHY EVEN TRY Why even try, it’s not worth it, I can’t take it! Maybe I’m weak, the pain’s never ending. I’m getting numb, I begin not to feel it. Maybe I’m weak, I’ve started forgetting. Why even try, there’s no way I can do it. I’m too empty inside. STUPID PUNK ANTHEM I wanna do what I want, Not when I’m told. I wanna do it now while I’m young, Before I get to old. I’m gonna make these decisions for myself, Not no one else. But how do I know what’s gonna be best? Wanna live, wanna die, wanna laugh, wanna cry. Wanna do what I want so I can be myself. Don’t wanna follow, wanna lead myself. So I can see who I am and who will really help me out. Sick and tired of their shit, being led to believe, in the end there might be things to benefit our lives. I guess the best feelings that I’ve had deep inside, have been the ones that made it clear I’m not like anybody else. SQUAT There’s plenty of room for 50,000 people. There’s 50,000 people looking for a home. Empty buildings all over the city. Empty buildings for hire and sale. Empty buildings it’s such a pity. Empty buildings so don’t sit and wait. Squat squat squat SQUAT!!!!
8.
See the heffer in the pasture chewing on its cud. See the sphincter at her back door that’s where I’ll put my pud. Six tits are better than two you better believe it buddy. Cow fuckers of America come along with me and… Fuck a cow, fuck a cow, fuck a cow, fuck a cow.
9.
00:49
10.
I wish I was dead and then I won’t have to put up, with ignorant fuck-ups like you anymore. The things you say make me just so insane. I just want to put a bullet to my brain and end this pain.

about

The "Stupid Punk Tape" is part of a totally punk package. It includes a comic book, a sheet of stickers, and the tape. Useless Pieces of Shit sold these on the Stupid Punk Tour in the Fall of 1986. The Stupid Punk Package was a hot item that would sell out quickly at shows and U.P.S. had a hard time keeping them in stock. These recording had been lost for many years but were recently recovered thanks to a friend and fan who had the a copy. Now all of the songs have been digitally re-mastered and assembled into a new "Stupid Punk Package" for sale today. Own a piece of history from back in the days when poor startup punk rock bands could only release cassette tapes and distributed themselves by selling them at shows on tour.

credits

released August 1, 1986

This lineup included:
‣Slug Useless on guitar
‣Sleepy Pieces on vocals
‣Rat Shit on drums
‣Dr. Blood on bass

Special thanks to "HellRad" Dave Goodman and John "the Geek" Lanford for their much need help on the "Stupid Punk Tour."
Also thanks to everyone we met and stayed with on the tour.
We got lots of priceless memories.

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Useless Pieces of Shit Tucson, Arizona

Useless Pieces of Shit is a band name that you may not be familiar with but in the 1980's they were a hardcore punk rock band with a live show second to no other band of its type at the time. They weren't a product of the major scenes in New York, Boston, D.C., San Francisco, or L.A. so there were no record deals or concert promoters. They were a product of the startup remote scene in Tucson, AZ. ... more

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